From my side
by The Neliel Tu
Summary: The story of a girl named Paula, former guitarist of Gorillaz. What really happened...in my mind. If you don't like Paula, then DON'T read this! It's that simple.
1. Chapter 1

_The story of Paula. It may not be completely accurate, but I wrote it because this is how I view her story...sort of. I may elaborate someday, but for now, here it is._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gorillaz. I do not own Paula. I wouldn't want to, anyway._

_Well...enjoy._

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The girl walked into Norman's Organ Emporium, looking around, trying to find something she needed.

"Can I 'elp you, miss?" a voice, belonging to a blue-haired young man, asked. She looked him up and down, his lanky frame, ready smile, and mussed up azure spiked hair all charmed her.

"Erm, well, I'm looking for some guitar strings. It seems I'm running low, and I just can't stop breaking them!" she smiled, her teeth gleaming in the fluorescent shop lights.

"They're right o'er here," he said as he led her to a rack, pointing at a couple of brands.

"Thank you, er," she squinted at his name tag, "Stuart."

"You're welcome--erm--"

"Paula, Paula Cracker." she introduced herself, and he nodded.

"Paula." he smiled and watched as she picked out some guitar strings. "So you, er, play guitar?" he asked.

"Yeah, a bit. I'm thinking about joining up with a band one of these days, hopefully."

"Oh, that'd be lovely." he nodded and followed her to the cash register, where he rang up the strings, giving her a slight discount. "Don' tell me manager," he whispered, his eyes shifty, full beamed smile at her.

"'Course I won't. Thank you," she said as she handed him her money. When he offered her her change she shook her head. "No, keep it." with that she left, off to her own flat.

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She continued to buy guitar strings from Norm's every Saturday, until finally Stu-pot worked up the nerve to ask her out to dinner.

She readily accepted, as her love life was lacking luster as of late. They had a nice time, and he fell asleep at her flat. She cooked him a light breakfast the next morning, and they'd go out every so often.

After awhile, she stopped hearing from him. She visited Norm's and saw that some of the windows were being boarded up. She didn't see Stu-pot anywhere, so she continued on her way.

One day, she received a phone call from Stuart, and he sounded slightly different.

"'Ello, Paula!" he greeted her.

"Stuart! I was worried about you, babe," she said.

"I was in a coma," he told her.

"Christ! Really?" she asked. "How? What happened?"

"Norm's got ram-raided. I got hit by a car...s'a long story, love."

"Tell it to me over lunch, then?" she asked, and he agreed. They met at a small pub and sat in a booth, Paula studying the changes in Stuart's face.

"Your eyes--your teeth--" her eyes widened.

"I know. That's all from Murdoc. I'm in a band now, we jus' need a guitarist. I play th'keys an' sing." he grinned dumbly. Paula sighed softly.

"Did it hurt?" she asked.

"God, did it ever!" Stuart rubbed his skull. "'Ey! You play guitar, don' you?"

"I do," Paula said.

"You should come play for us!" Stuart suggested.

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Paula, 2D, Russel, and Murdoc were practicing in the studio. Stuart yawned, looking as though he might fall asleep. His head kept bending down and then snapping back up.

Paula watched him, an amused look upon her face. Murdoc squinted at her, evaluating her looks, deciding that she was a 'rubbish looking bird.'

She played fair guitar, sure, but he just couldn't have that mug in his band. It would ruin the whole concept, he believed. He needed someone different from the rest of them, maybe someone pure.

She obviously was not pure, he thought.

Later that night, Stuart skipped on to the pub, drinking away and stumbling in drunk. Paula glared at him, a look of disgust upon her face.

"So is that 'ow it's gonna be, Stu-pot? Are you gonna come 'ome drunk every night?" she demanded.

"N-no!" he shook his head. "I just--I just--"

"Go sleep on the sofa. I'm not sleeping with a drunk bloke 'oo wasn' drinkin' with me." she told him, and he staggered to the nearest sofa.

She slept late the next morning, having established residency in Kong recently. 2D was asleep on the floor, and she nudged him with her toe. He stirred not.

"Christ," she muttered and walked off to the kitchen. "If that's what I'll 'ave t'put up with..."

She bumped into Murdoc in the kitchen. She looked him up and down, her tongue running over her lips, her eyes bulging. "Mm, Murdoc," she murmured.

He glanced at her, thinking. He saw the way she looked at him, the way she licked her lips. He grabbed her hand and yanked her off to the toilets.

Their moans could be heard all the way in the corridor, where Russ happened to be walking by. He stopped and listened at the door.

"What the fuck?" he nudged open the outer door, then the door to cubicle three, only to discover Paula and Murdoc going at it. "Murdoc!!" Russel bellowed, punching him in the nose, immediately breaking it, blood spurting from his nostrils.

Murdoc fell back onto the toilet where he sat, stunned.

"I'mma hafta tell 2D about this now. Good one, Muds." Russ walked off, shaking his head.

Thank Satan, Murdoc thought through his pain induced haze. She'll be gone for good!

Two days later, he placed an ad in the paper for a new guitarist.

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_Know what you should do now?_

_Review! I love reviews! _


	2. Chapter 2

_Here it is. Chapter two! I think I'll keep writing. This could get interesting, maybe. Iunno._

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Chapter Two.

Paula was in what had been hers and 2D's room, but was now just his. She was packing her belongings, mournfully, and sighing every ten seconds.

"Why did I do that?" she muttered to herself. It was such a dumb thing to do, she thought. I love Stu-pot, and I thought he loved me, but I can't tolerate him coming home every night drunk if he hasn't been drinking with me.

Murdoc could offer her intelligent conversations for the most part, at least he _talked. _Stuart rarely did, and he wasn't much of a conversationalist in the first place.

She and Stuart had been happy together, before she'd moved in and become the guitarist of "Gorilla." They'd gone on nice walks together, lunch, dinner, bowling, pool, and they'd always been the couple in the room that were envied by all.

But that had all come to an end after she'd moved in. He rarely spoke, and when he did, it was even rarer for something intelligent to come out. He was incoherent because of the medications he took for his migraines, and he would tend to go for days without one morsel of food passing through his lips.

She had no idea why the food business annoyed her, but it did, and greatly so. She wondered what he thought of her now, anyway.

Does he hate me? She thought. Or does he still love me, even though I've made a mistake?

Stuart came bursting through the door. "Paula! We've got a new guitarist! C'mon, she's 'ere! She jus' got 'ere in a Fed-ex crate!" he cried enthusiastically.

Paula tried not to cringe, tried desperately to hold the tears that would inevitably flow just a little bit longer. She was curious, after all, and she followed Stuart to the door, where a small Asian girl, Japanese, to be exact, was holding a Les Paul guitar.

She smiled innocently up at them and said one word.

"Noodle," she said, grinning. "Noodle."

"We'll call 'er Noodle." Russ decided, and Murdoc nodded.

"We 'ave a new guitarist." his voice was final, and Paula fled the room, tears coating her cheeks. Stu-pot gazed after her, then turned back to 'Noodle,' watching in awe as she played.

Later on, he returned to his room, where Paula was lying on the floor, shoulders shaking with sobs. She stopped as soon as she realized he was in the room and got up quickly, collecting her things.

"When ya leavin'?" Stuart asked.

"As soon as I can," Paula answered, sniffling. "I'm so sorry, Stu-pot. I really am." she apologized. "I just--I just needed to end this. Ya always come 'ome from th'pub stinking drunk, an' I don't like it.

"If ya wanted to get drunk, ya could ask me, I'll drink with you. I'da done anything with you, but Murdoc was a way out. I can't be with ya if you're gonna be the way you are. I'm not that kinda girl. I'll find something else." she sighed, wiping at her soaked face.

"I know," Stuart sighed. "I need t'change, but I don't see it happening." he shrugged. "Was better before ya moved in."

"It was. Maybe we could still--" a look of hope crossed her face, but then she shook her head. "No. Eventually one of us would wanna move in, an' it jus' wouldn' work." she sighed and shook her head. "I'll miss you."

"Ring up 'ere once in a while," 2D told her, and she shrugged.

"I might," she said, and gave him a quick hug, then she was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's chapter 3, and I know for serious there will be at least one more chapter. **

**Maybe even two more, depending on interest level._  
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**_What happened?_**

Paula sat in a small diner just outside of Essex, thinking.

She did not deserve Stuart, she thought, and she wished she wouldn't have done what she had. But she also did not want some one with his level of intelligence, as horrible as she knew that sounded.

She had also needed her escape. Things _had_ been fine before she'd moved in with them. She'd had a decent relationship with Stu-pot for the most part, her life had been great.

Then Murdoc came crashing into his life, changing everything.

"Excuse me miss, would you like to order something?" a waitress asked, and Paula looked up.

"Just a cup o' coffee, an' some cream," she said, her voice hoarse. The waitress nodded and left Paula to her thoughts.

After Murdoc bounced his car off of Stuart's head, everything had changed. Paula had seen less of him, if any of him, and he was definitely not the same.

Before he had been capable of thinking for himself, now it seemed Murdoc controlled him. He talked considerably less than he had, and that bothered Paula.

Whenever she called him to chat, he spoke so little that Paula thought she might lose her voice. She thought that if she moved in with him and his band, he might be the same as he had been, but she only discovered more faults.

She sighed, placing her elbows on the table and cupping her face in her hands.

Living in Kong, she had been forced to put up with so many peculiar things, that Stuart's behaviors only pushed her farther. Murdoc had also been pushing it, putting a couple moves on her at different times.

The constant chaos exhausted her, leaving her dull and lifeless. She hated her existence, and resented Stuart's at times. Sure, they had their moments, but the vast majority of the time was filled with forgotten dates and Paula's nervous conversation.

He was perpetually doped up on his painkillers, either sleeping like the damned in his bed or wandering around Kong, the mirror image of the undead.

She never saw him, it seemed, though she looked upon his face everyday. She felt as though this freshly dented-eyed singer was a completely different person from the Stu-pot she had known and loved.

Yes, she had loved him, as insane as that may sound. She had found a way past his dense-ness and fallen in love with his soul.

He had changed, she grudgingly acknowledged. She had pretended he was the same, tried to live in bliss, but it could never work. Maybe if he had remained as the Stu-pot he had once been. . . Paula lingered on the thought, wishing hopelessly.

She still loved her Stu-pot, just not the man he had become. Murdoc seemed more suitable for her, but she realized she would not see him again in that way, if ever again.

Paula rubbed her temples, her skull ached so from the thoughts she had just forced her brain through. Tears came to her eyes when she thought of what she and Stuart had shared together before Murdoc, before anything.

"Why couldn't we have jus' been normal?" Paula asked herself softly, a teardrop landing on the table and splashing, inaudibly.

_Paula ran through Kong, to 2D's room, bouncing on his bed in excitement. 2D stared at her from his chair, absolutely confused. She came to rest on her rear, and stared back at him, waiting for him to speak first._

_The silence overwhelmed her._

"_Wot's the matter with you?" she asked. "Why aren't you excited?"_

"_Should I be?" he looked around worriedly. "Wot's goin' on?"_

"_I'm moving in!" she exclaimed joyously, then paused. "Aren't you happy?" But when she looked at him for his response, she could already see he wouldn't be answering. "Christ," she muttered and left his room, thinking 'So that's what I get,' bitterly, biting the inside of her cheek until it bled. _

Paula's shoulders shook with unbidden, choked sobs. She left the diner after leaving her money and the cheque, moving along to an alley outside of her former apartment building. Here she could sob freely, leaving the memories to flow as they chose.

_Paula sat in the kitchen, watching 2D. He sat, motionless, barely breathing, it seemed, not uttering a syllable. She sighed, shifted her weight constantly, leaned forward, anything to elicit a word, but nothing worked. He noticed nothing. _

_She shook her head, rolling her eyes, patted his hand. He looked up at her and beamed her a smile, then went back into his daydreams. She sighed, she had hoped to go get some dinner, even if it was just take-out that they ate in their car._

_She gave him a light kiss on the cheek and turned, walking away. He still sat, not moving, staring into space. She rolled her eyes and muttered a few swears, reminiscing about how it used to be between them._

Paula sighed painfully, hugging herself tightly, rocking slightly. Tears made trails down her flushed cheeks, her eyes burning. She looked around, wondering where she might sleep that night. She had no home anymore, she had rented her apartment out and had no chance of getting it back.

She rolled into a ball, her eyes closed, her head throbbing painfully. Why couldn't she have found a place? Why did she no longer have any money? She moaned softly and went inside the building she had been leaning against.

It was warm inside, and she curled up on the floor, her eyes closed, her mind seeking sleep. She was quickly relieved of consciousness.

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**Nananana na na na Review! Please??  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Well, here it is, the fourth chapter!**

**I almost skipped this and posted the fifth! Hah! My bad.**

**Well, hope you all enjoy.**

**And sorry it's so short!! **

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She awoke to strange, young faces, all staring at her.

"Sod off, y'little wankers. Get away!" she groaned moodily, her spine aching, neck cracking painfully. They scampered away in fright, and she sighed, moving her things, finding her mobile.

She searched through the numbers, but couldn't find anybody she still kept contact with. She sighed in frustration and gave up, letting it dial a number she didn't want.

"'Ello?" a male voice, high in pitch, breathless, answered after a few rings.

"2D?" Paula asked.

"Yeah, 'oo's 'is?"

"Paula, love." she answered, her voice cracking. 2D sighed lightly over the phone.

"Wot you need?"

"Wot? Wot do you--oh, a place--a place to stay. I've no money, no car, no home. Only my mobile and a couple of suitcases," she admitted.

"I could 'elp ya--give yeh some money or summink like tha'." 2D told her. "But other'n that..."

"That'll be perfect! That's all I need--There's an apartment available--s'not much, but, it's in my old complex, just give me enough to start out and I'll get a job, and I'll--I'll--Stu-Pot?"

"Yeah, I'm 'ere. Are yeh at your old apartments, then? Cos, I'll meet you there."

"That's where I am. Thank you so much, 2D!" she told him quickly, as he hung up. She sat on the steps, sagging in relief. Later on, she heard a car driving up and parking. She bounded out the door and saw 2D.

She resisted her impulse to hug him and only grinned at him, sheepishly.

"So sorry to make you do this," she muttered. He only shrugged and followed her to the main office, where he paid for rent and everything she needed for two months.

"Jus' in case fings don't work out," he told her, and turned to leave.

"Thank you so much, Stuart!" she cried gratefully. He smiled briefly, then left her to herself. She smiled charmingly at the manager and made for her flat, brushing her dark hair from her face.

She was relieved to discover it was furnished.

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**Review! Please?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Erm, well, here's to getting more into Paula's story! (clinks a glass) **

**Chaptre Cinc! **

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_**Chapter 5: How it all began **_

Paula fell asleep on her new couch, her fringe hanging over her closed eyes. She slept, mind filled with scenes.

_He walked up to her, filling her hand with paper bills. Paula looked up at him, her eyes shining with confusion. She looked around the streets, wondering where to go, what to buy._

_He noted her confusion and led her to his home, where he sat her on a sofa in front of a roaring fire. She warmed her hands before it, watching him suspiciously. He did nothing, only pacing steadily, through the kitchen and back to the sofa. _

"_Where are you from?" he asked, gently. She shook her head. "Name?"_

"_Paula," she told him, her eyes closing in exhaustion. He nodded slightly, then suddenly picked her up, carrying her to a large bathroom in the back of the house. _

"_If you'd like to take a shower, you may. Just wear the blue robe hanging on the back of the door, and I will wash your clothes for you." he told her, closing the door behind him._

_She looked around the bathroom in awe. It had a shower, a whirlpool tub, double sink, and a gold and white toilet, the bathroom shone clean as the day it was built. Every thing was gold and white, even the towels._

_She let her clothes fall to the floor, embarrassed at how out of place they looked. Her jeans were torn in many places, the bottom half of the left leg was practically falling off. Her shirt, once white, was now an odd combination of gray and yellow. _

_She turned the water on until it began steaming, then stepped into the shower, washing herself slowly and luxuriously. She knew not how long she spent in the shower, but she felt inexplicably clean once she was wearing the blue robe. The man took her clothes and, leading her to a bedroom, told her to sleep._

"_Just make yourself at home, love. In the morning, I will have breakfast for you," he told her, and she nodded meekly, studying her new surroundings._

_There was another fireplace, made of red brick, with a mantle of dark, cherry wood. A small fire was dying down, and crackling as it did. The bed, in the center of the room, was large with white oak posts. The bedding looked soft and comfortable, and she couldn't wait to snuggle in the folds of the ivory fabrics._

_The carpeting was burgundy, and the walls paneled with white oak. There were four large windows, each covered with thick, cream-coloured curtains. She crawled into the bed, curling up and sleeping until morning, when she was wakened by the mysterious man._

_He brought her to the kitchen, where a warm omelette waited for her on a white plate. She dug in eagerly, savoring the taste. When she finished, she felt so full, like she hadn't in weeks, it seemed. _

_He took her clothes shopping, bought her clothing enough to fill ten large closets. All of her new clothes were in a punk rock fashion, and she wore them proudly. _

_He found her a decent job and helped her settle into a new home, proud of her and himself for all they had accomplished. He disappeared from her life as suddenly as he had appeared, but she missed him not._

_She owed him so much, she thought...so much._

_He's the one who made me what I am today._

She woke up muttering.

"He's the one, the one who made me, made me what I am, today," she said sleepily, an eye opening sleepily.

She took a look at the time and nearly screamed. Work! Her brain cried as she rushed to shower and dress, remembering her former savior. Had that really happened, or was it all a pleasant dream?

At that time, she cared not to remember. She had other, more important things, on her mind. She sprinted out of her building and onto the nearest bus.

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**Well, well...**

**I'm not sure how I like this chapter, so reviews, suggestions, criticism(constructive, of course!) and everything else would be nice! I'm planning on writing another chapter, so...please? Review? **

**(And sorry it has been so long! It may not have been, but cheese it feels so!)  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's Six. Enjoy.**_  
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_Chapter Six  
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She returned home, exhausted from work. Her eyes drooped, but she had a phone call she wanted to make. She dialed the number and listened to the phone ring anxiously.

"'Ello?" a rough voice answered.

"Murdoc?" Paula's voice was weak, quavery. "Murdoc, is that you?"

"Yeh, it's me, whaddya wan'? Who is this?"

"It's me, Paula." her voice was almost a whisper.

"Yeah, so?" Murdoc answered.

"You asked!" she returned, her volume raising slightly.

"Right, what do you want?"

"I just--I just missed you guys, I'm sorry. I'm--I'm jus' lonely, y'know."

"So you call me?"

"You're just the one who answered!" she protested.

"Oh. So you'd say what you're sayin' t'anyone?"

"No, only t'you." her voice was a whisper once more. She controlled the sobs that lurked behind her steady voice, the tears threatening to fall.

"Ah, likely story," Murdoc muttered.

"I really do miss you," she started. "I miss being in Kong, I miss it all. I never thought this place would be so lonely, so huge, but without anyone here, it is. I miss how small Kong seemed, since we were so big there--" her voice faltered slightly.

"Why do I care?" Murdoc asked, but his voice was soft, weary.

"I--I don't know why you should." Paula sighed. "I don't know why I do."

"I--I mi--" Murdoc began, but cut himself short. He was not going to give himself away, he was not going to say those words.

"I didn't want to hurt Stu--2D, but--but I don't--he's not--"

"I know, Paula." he knew all too well, all the times she had burst, sobbing, into his Winnebago, crying about some slight offense, but he knew those offenses added up, ultimately, they made one huge problem. He had listened to so many of her problems, so many times he had rubbed her shoulders and soothed her worries.

He knew the root of the problem, and in some twisted way, sought to solve it through tempting her to cheat, which was an easy task. He had solved it, but had also injured himself and his singer.

"I know, I know," he said, softly.

"I love you, Murdoc." her voice was filled with an aching longing, each word stretched with sorrow. "I love you."

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**Review! **

**That's it. It's over. Hope you liked it, all the way through.  
**


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